Section V
Having Some Fun
Books Are Sure to Make One Sleep
Once a woman was bothered by the endless crying of her baby. Suddenly she got a good idea and said loudly to her husband, "Hand me a book at once!"
Her husband hurriedly brought her a book and then asked, "What's the purpose of this?"
The woman said, "As I've observed (观察), when you are talking and laughing, you are in high spirits. But once you hold a book in your hand, you begin to yawn (打哈欠) and fall asleep."
Joke: The Teacher
One day when the teacher walked to the blackboard, she noticed someone had written the word ′PENIS in tiny letters. She turned around and scanned the class looking for a guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it and began class.
The next day, she went into the room, she noticed in large letters the word ′PENIS′ again; this time written about halfway across the board.
Again she looked around in vain for the culprit, so she proceeded with the day′s lesson.
Every morning for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day′s larger than the previous one. Finally one day, she walked in expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board but instead found the words:
"The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.
简短英语笑话二则
1.Customer: Give me a hot dog.
2.Waiter: With pleasure.
3.Customer: No, with mustard.
顾客：来个热狗。
侍者：很高兴。
顾客：不要，加上芥末。
(注：英语中with pleasure是“很高兴”的意思。这位顾客把pleasure当成调料了。怪不得他说不要pleasure,要芥末呢。)
不同国家的问候文化简介
问候是人们交际开始的标志，它具有建立和发展人际关系的作用。其形式和内容因时间、地点、场合、地位、对象、年龄、关系亲疏等诸多因素而异。问候时还要注意恰当地使用称谓。问候的方式可以用语言表达，也可以通过体态语言(Body Language)如点头、微笑、目光交流或手势等来完成。
一．问候方式
不同国家与地区的文化背景和风俗习惯不同，问候的方式也不同。欧美国家人士在问候上与中国人有很大差异。
中国文化与习惯：
中国人见面不分时间地点常说一句客套话：“你吃过了吗?(Have you eaten yet?)” 而外国人听到这样的问候时，首先会感到：莫名其妙(confused)，然后会误解为对方有意邀请自己吃饭。西方人的反应是什么呢?客气一点的：“你们为什么老问我吃了饭没有?我有钱。”(Why did you always ask me about my meal? I have money．)不客气的则会说“这不关你的事!It's none of your business!”另一句常用套话是“上哪儿去?”(“Where are you going?”)则有向别人打听隐私之嫌。英美人十分尊重别人的隐私，对方的家庭(family)、年龄(Age)、收入(income)、婚姻(marital status)等都不能随便问及，特别是女性和年龄大的人，尤其不能问年龄。
西方文化与习惯：
正式场合：
A：How do you do? 您好!
B：How do you do? 您好!
A：How are you? 您好吗?
B：Fine，thanks．And you? 很好，谢谢，您呢?
非正式场合：
Hi／Hello你好
Good morning(afternoon／evening) 早上(下午，晚上)好
How are you doing? 你近来怎样?
How are things? 情况怎么样?
How are you getting on? 你近来如何?
How′s life? 生活情况怎样?
二．问候身体
彼此问候免不了要关心对方的身体健康。但由于东西方文化不同，英美人士在关心与询问的方式和言语表达上都有很大差异。
中国文化与习惯：
(1)Are you sick? (你生病了吗?)
(2)You must go to see a doctor．(快去看看病吧！)
(3)You need more rest．(你得多休息。)
(4)Drink plenty of water．(多喝点水。)
(5)Put on more clothes．(多穿点衣服。)
这种家长教育孩子式的口吻，对于崇尚自由，强调个性独立的英美人来说是极不舒服的，因而是不得体的。
西方文化与习惯：
(1)You seem rather tired．Are you OK?
(你好像很疲倦，你好吗?)
(2)You look a bit pale．Are you feeling all right?
(脸色有点苍白，你感觉好吗?)
(3)You′d better see a doctor．
(你最好还是去看一下病。)
三．谈话内容
英美人见面时还常常喜欢谈论天气。因为这是一个中性题材，不涉及个人生活和各种敏感话题。他们通常以 “Lovely day，isn′t it?”(今天天气很好，是吧?)或“It′s a bit cooler today，isn′t it”(今天天气凉爽了一些，是吧?)。Good morning一般从早上6点到中午12点使用，Good afternoon通常从午饭后到下午6点用。晚上见面时，千万不能用Goodnight因为Good night只用于即将分别的场合，有Good-bye的意思，而应该用Good evening。
Key Patterns经典句型
1．Hello(Hullo，Hallo)! 你好!
Hello(Hullo，Hallo)!<Brit> 你好!(英)
Hi! 你好! — Hi!<Amer> 你好!(美 )
2．Good morning。 早上好!
Good morning． 早上好!
Good afternoon． 下午好!
Good afternoon． 下午好!
Good evening． 晚上好!
Good evening． 晚上好!
Good night． 晚安。
Good night． 晚安。
3．How are you <feeling>doing? 你近况如何?
How are you getting on? 你近况如何?
How′s life with you? 你近来怎样?
Not(too)bad． 还不错。
4．How is everything (going) 情况怎么样?
Very well. Thank you. How about you? 挺好的。谢谢。你怎么样?
5．How have you been? 你近来好吗?
Just fine. Thank you． 很好，谢谢。
6．How are you? 你好吗?
Fine，thanks．And you? 很好，谢谢!你呢?
7．Nice to meet you． 见到您很高兴。
Me too． 我也一样(高兴)。
8．How do you do? 您好!
How do you do? 您好?
Three Key Dialogues 3经典对话
Dialogue 1(对话1)
A：Good evening，Mr．Brown.
晚上好，布朗先生o
B：Oh，good evening，Mr．Wang．
喔，晚上好，王先生。
A：How have you been?
你近来好吗?
B：Very well，thanks．And (how are) you?
很好，谢谢。你呢?
A：Pretty good．Thanks．
还可以，谢谢。
Note注释
How have you been；常见的问候语，和How are you doing接近。
Dialogue 2(对话2)
A：Hello，George．Nice to see you．
乔治，你好!很高兴见到你。
B：Me too，Miss．Zhang．How are you getting along?
我也一样，张小姐。近来可好?
A：Wonderful，thank you．And you?
好极了。谢谢。你呢?
B：I had a bad cold last week．But I′m much better now．
我上周感冒了，但现在好多了。
A：Well，I′m glad to hear that. And how is everyone in your family?
啊，你身体好了，我真高兴。你家里的人都好吗?
B：Quite well，thank you．Please say hello to Mr．Zhang．
还好。谢谢。请代我向你先生问好。
Key words and expressions 关键词句
1．Nice to see you．：是It is nice to see you的省略形式
2．How are you getting along?：是常见问候语
3．And you?：And how are you?的省略形式
4，have a cold：患感冒
5．say hello to sb.：向某人问好
Dialogue 3(对话3)
A：Hello，Jack．I haven′t seen you for ages．How is everything going?
你好，杰克。好久不见，一切可好?
B：Wonderfully. Things couldn′t be better.
How is everything with you?
好极了，一切都好。你一切都好吗?
A：I′m fine，too．It seems that you′re in a hurry?
我也挺好。看样子你很忙?
B：Oh，yes．I am rushing for a meeting．
是啊。我还要赶去开会。
A：Then，1 won't take your time．Good-bye．
那么，我就不占你的时间了。再见。
B：Good-bye．
再见。
Key words and expressions 关键词句
1．How is everything going?：是常见的问候语
2．Things couldn′t be better.：此句是虚拟语气。直译是“事情不会比现在更好了。”
3．be in a hurry：匆忙
4．take one′s time：占用某人的时间
proverbs:
take it easy 凡事看开些, 不要太冲动, 不要看得那么重
make yourself comfortable 不用约束 (招待客人时说的话)
Man proposes and god disposes 谋事在人成事在天 .
The weakest goes to the wall.优胜劣败
You can count on me 你可以信得过我
He see things not people他论事不论人
We sang the same songs 我们志同道合
to look one way and row another声东击西 .
It′s a matter of time. 这是迟早的问题
Let′s get it straight. 我们打开天窗说亮话吧
