Section V
Having Some Fun
My wife and I were stopped by a state policeman. He started to write up a speeding ticket. My wife, who is a hair stylist, said, "If you let us off with a warning, I'll give you a free haircut for a year."
The policeman removed his hat and he was completely bald.

To be on the Safe Side
In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer. A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row:
"Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?"
" Yes, but it doesn't really matter. It didn't hurt at all."
"Oh, no, it isn't that. I only want to make sure that this is my row."

保证我没走错
在一家电影院里，一名观众在演出期间站了起来，沿着他那排位子走到休息室去了。几分钟后，他回到那排位子并问坐在首位的那位男士道：
“对不起，请问我刚才出去的时候是踩着你的脚吗？”
“是的，不过没什么关系，一点也不疼。
噢，不，我不是这个意思。我只是想确认一下这是不是我的那排位子。”

Ask the way
Can you tell me the way to …?             
Can you tell me how to get to …?
Can you tell me how I can get to …
Am I on the right way to …?
Would you please show me the way to …?
Would you mind telling me the way to …?
Direct the way
Go straight ahead / along / down the street
Turn left at the first turning / Take the first turning on your left 
Walk two blocks along the street until you see ...
Is it far from here?  
Will it take me long get there?
How long will it take me to get there?
It’s no distance at all / Within walking distance. / You can walk there
It’s only about 3 minutes’ walk / ride.
Shall I take a bus? Where should I get off?
Go by bus / Take the No. 71 bus and get off at road 
Thank you very much / Many thanks
Not at all / You are welcome / Don’t mention it
I’m sorry I’m new (stranger here) / I’m just passing by.

Useful patterns

Walk /Go along/ down the road/ the street, and take the
second turning on the left/ right.
Go down this street until you reach the second traffic lights.
Turn left / right at the second crossing.
It’s over there.
It’s over there on the left/right.
It’s next to the ……/ in front of the / behind the ……/ outside the……
It will take you about half an hour.
You can’t miss it.
You can take bus No.103.
You’d better take a taxi.
Sorry, I don’t know. I’m a stranger here.

Proverb

http://www.qsbk.cn/eng/KeTang/rjyl/2006/10/3161928148_4.shtml

1. All roads lead to Rome.
   条条大路通罗马。
2. Better to ask the way than go astray.
   问路总比迷路好。
3. Confidence in yourself is the first step on the road to success.
   自信是走向成功的第一步。Learn to walk before you run.
   先学走，再学跑。
4. Life is not all roses.
   人生并不是康庄大道。
5. The farthest way about is the nearest way home.
   抄近路反而绕远路。
6. The first step is the only difficulty.
   迈出第一步是最艰难的。
7. The higher up, the greater the fall.
   爬得高，摔得惨。
8. The pot calls the kettle black.
   五十步笑百步。
9. There is no royal road to learning.
   书山有路勤为径，学海无涯苦作舟。
10. The world is a ladder for some to go up and others to go down.
    世界如阶梯，有人上有人下。
11. Time tries all.
    路遥知马力，日久见人心。
12. Touch pitch, and you will be defiled.
    常在河边走，哪有不湿鞋。
13. Until all is over one's ambition never dies.
    不到黄河心不死。
14. The devil knows many things because he is old.
    老马识途。
15. A bad workman always blames his tools.
    不会撑船怪河弯。
16. He who would climb the ladder must begin at the bottom.
    千里之行，始於足下。
17. Who will go far must go slow. [German Proverb]
    跑得慢，跑得遠。慢慢划船先登岸。（德国谚语）
18. In the end, things will mend.
    车到山前必有路
19. a thousand-li journey begins with the first step

千里之行始于足下

1. It is a long lane that has no turning路必有弯
2. Time reveals a person's heart路遥知马力,日久见人心